Mental illness is a lonely place. The actual symptoms of mental illness even ensure isolation: With my eating disorder, I was a pro at making up excuses for getting out of dinner or lunch plans with friends. When it comes to PTSD, I was frequently dissociated—felt apart from the world.…Read More
I’m never going to get better. I’m the only person in the world who won’t recover. I said this about my eating disorder, and, later, I said the very same thing about posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). In my experience, part of having a mental illness, by definition, means that, at…Read More
I didn’t begin to realize how isolated I was from the world until I kicked Ed out of my life for good. With him gone, for the first time, I chose to focus time and energy on making real, meaningful connections with others. First, I focused on my family. Then,…Read More
Dear family, friends, healthcare professionals, teachers, and coaches: Please be my hope holder. I have eaten food out of trashcans. I have stolen food. I feel horrible, disgusting, and oh so ashamed. I desperately need you to believe in me, because, honestly, sometimes I think that I’m going crazy. My…Read More
My marriage sent me to the psych ward. I guess I should rephrase that. It wasn’t actually my marriage that got me admitted. It was the letters PTSD, or rather the fact that that’s what happens when you tell enough people, in one day, that you want to die. I…Read More