“Does it ever get better?” those in eating disorder recovery often ask. Healing from an eating disorder can be such a long journey—with so many bumps along the way—that many feel hopeless and believe they might never recover. But I know from personal experience that, yes, it does get better—fully…Read More
Hello. I would like to introduce myself. I am the only person in the world who cannot recover from an eating disorder. No matter how hard I try or how desperately I want to let go of my eating disorder, I am doomed to fail. I will never get better.…Read More
Years ago, December was a time for Ed and I to think about New Year’s resolutions. I was in an abusive marriage with him for over twenty years, and he eventually controlled almost every aspect of my life. On the top of the list of things to accomplish during each…Read More
Who am I without Ed? We’ve been together for so long that I’m afraid of what my life might look like without him. I admit, things are horribly miserable with Ed, but, at least, I’m thin. I’d rather be thin and miserable than fat and miserable! What if being…Read More
I distinctly remember feeling fat wearing the leotard pictured here. Yes, at the young age of four, I already heard Ed screaming, “You aren’t good enough.” If you hear Ed’s voice, you know that he can talk incessantly all year round. You also know that his chatter can get even…Read More